Starting something new can create
havoc in ones heart for the most obvious reason that you will be doing
something you don’t have the assurance of experience and the track record of
time. To simply put, you are untried and untested. And because you are, how
will you be able to say “I am great!”?
And so, in my deep consternation
(just let me use the word because I totally love it) I focus on the following
to both understand confidence and why it doesn’t come easily and know just how
to pass through that block of uncertainties.
Confidence issue#1: The process of testing is daunting
Most of us acquire knowledge on
theorizing things base on what we read and other people experience. When
understanding comes, the best way to prove we understand is to try it out. If
we got it right, a notch of confidence grow and if we fail, we learn some more
until we got it right.
However, not all people go
through the second learning when they fail. And there are those who don’t even
want to try their new found knowledge out in case they will be proven to have
not understood it at all in the first place. The process of proving ones
capabilities is daunting.
Let me name these people’s type.
(I just thought of this so…)
1. Achiever
– this is the one who didn’t stop until he got it right. These are often one
track minded people who just go on one direction until they feel they know one
thing inside out and only then they can find another to learn again.
2. Tester
– this is the one who tested out but stop when he failed. These people often
are voracious readers and learners and then test new knowledge out and that
just it.
3. Dreamer
– this is the one who read, learned but never got to test it afraid that he
would be proven wrong making him stupid.
Let us try to guess the
confidence level of each. You might think like there is a ladder of confidence
level and that the achiever gets the highest. But you see, life just doesn’t
work in linear and confidence isn’t built on proofs alone.
Achievers can be perfectionists
who just can’t get enough confidence to say they got it really right because in
the end, there is always something lacking and they have to prove themselves
over and over again.
Testers on the other hand are
confident enough to tell the world what they know because after all, they have
tested it out already, they know what is right and what is not and they are
ready to move on.
Dreamers can be the most
confident because they don’t need to prove anything at all because deep inside
their heart, they know they are right.
So where will you put yourself
now?
On the shoes of all of the above
only that you have to be the other way around: be a dreamer, be a tester and
then be an achiever.
Confidence, I want to say and
this is very much debatable, cannot solely lie on experience and the track
record of dry runs. Confidence is the act, the choice of trusting yourself to
grow the way you want to be whether there is the plan, the actual occurrence or
the series of testing to prove your worth has been done or not.
Therefore, if you are the untried
and untested on this new field, new path or whatever new challenges you put in
your life, confidence can be there right at the beginning to guide you on how
you move forward…
Confidence issue#2: the fear of the trap of overselling ones
capabilities
In life, when we are the untried
and the untested, we just got to boost what little confidence we have or we
might not move on at all. After the plan, most of us get stuck on the drawing
board and never got around of having that ‘house’ built.
It is so easy to plan and have
everything figure out on a piece of paper. Execution is another big matter to
face. We get to feel the goose bumps of fears:
·
Fear of promising what we can’t deliver
·
Fear of getting stuck while on the process of
delivering
·
Fear of not pleasing
·
And a lot more fears eating confidence away
For years, novices are always new
on a certain field and they always got mentors to boost their confidence of
delivering. That is why when we are the untried and untested, we just got to
have someone who can show their support or a mentor who will see to it we can
do it.
Only too few people who can rush
into something and deliver exactly what they think they can. I think these are
the people born gifted with confidence. But a lot of shy people who truly want
to test their skills out have hard time breaking out of their shell. For these
people, a good mentor would have been nice. But good mentors do not come cheap.
So how can an untried and
untested get started given their so little confidence of delivery? I think it
is best to go by the principle of GOI and GID, “Get over it” and just “Get it
done”. Confidence or no, it is best to test the waters, eyes close if
necessary. Just take the courage to leap and just deliver the best you can…
You can’t get enough of confidence or you blow it out of proportion…
The very first thing to build
confidence is to just evaluate what you already have. Build a firm foundation
using what you got already. Take a step every day. Stop when contemplation
needed but never give up. Confidence is not the issue at the very end but of
trusting yourself on what you can do for others.
What you need to do now?
Knowing this, if you are the
untried and untested, whatever that you want to start now but just don’t have
enough confidence to do it then you can begin with this….
Think about what you want to do
but can’t because you are not sure you can do it. List them out and choose
three at the top of your list. Share them at the comment below and let us
discuss why you lack of confidence of just doing it. I would love to cook up ideas
with you and see just how it can be done to get you going.
God Bless,
Jean
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